I love how The Universe operates! Just as I was sitting down and wondering what to write for today, Mastin Kipp, TDL wrote a post on this very subject.
That is the topic of personal attacks. We experience them in real life, we watch them on the ever increasing reality TV show’s and they flood throughout all the major media and political circles. Personal attacks create drama, drama creates conflict and conflict attracts our attention.
I was wondering how to respond after someone who calls themself a close friend attacked me on facebook; for all the world to see. It was embarrassing and it was humiliating. On an intellectual level I knew her words were untrue and unfounded, yet on an emotional level they stung, oh how they stung! Her words and the subsequent comments by others made me feel both angry and sad. Angry that I was being attacked like that when she could have come to me personally and talked about what she was feeling and sad because what she said really has nothing at all to do with me. It is her own spiritual struggle she is dealing with and one she vehemently denies. Denying that we a Spirit having a human experience has limited her life in so many ways and yet she is closed off to any rational discussion of the topic. I learned a long time ago, some things are just best left unsaid.
There are Universal rules to storytelling. Human beings are natural storytellers and story absorbers. The main part of any story is plot, and plot equals conflict. No conflict, no story. The Bible is a prime example. Some of Jesus’ best teaching were in the form of a story. The Greeks were masters of it as are the Native Americans.
“You can stop a story if you remove the conflict. If Darth Vader wasn’t so dead set on getting the Death Star plans from Luke and the Empire just decided they made one big mistake, there would be no conflict and the story resolves and it ends.
Your life is a story. Everything about it is about sharing, telling & listening. When someone “attacks” you with words, they are simply expressing what they perceive to be true in their world and using their story rules. The story you choose to tell greatly determines the outcome of an “attack”.
Since you are a Soul in a Human body, the words of others have no true effect on you. Only the things that you choose to believe as real become true for you. If someone is “attacking” you, how do you interpret that? Do you want drama in your life or peace of mind & abundance. Everything we let ourselves believe becomes true in our story. It is impossible for you to become less through someone else’s words. You only become less when you buy into their story and make yourself less.
If you want less conflict & drama in your life, give the events of your life a new meaning. See with the eyes of compassion. Anyone who lashes out at you is doing so because they are in pain; it’s all on them – but you’re reaction or response is on you. See through taking it personally, see their pain and send love in response to hate.”
I chose to not address the attacks. I realize that what she said was really ALL About Her, just as don Miguel Ruiz writes about in The Four Agreements. Like water off of a ducks back, I let her comments & opinions roll:)
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the options and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~ don Miguel Ruiz, from his best-seller “The Four Agreements”.
“Perhaps the greatest mistake we can make, which causes loss of self-respect, is making the opinions of others more important than our own opinion of ourselves. You’ll find no shortage of opinions directed at you. If you allow them to undermine your self-respect, you’re seeking the respect of others over your own, and you’re abdicating yourself.” ~ Wayne Dyer, from his best-seller “The Power of Intention”.
“When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.” ~ Gerald Jampolsky, founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing and a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association.