Sexual energy is natural and belongs to Mother Nature, to procreation and to physical satisfaction. The same time there is within your sexual energy a mechanism that triggers the expansion of your entire being. It is, in effect, an evolutionary process.
This perspective is not strictly about performance or procreation, or even about orgasm, though that can be a wonderful benefit. Sex is about sharing and exchanging energies that originate more from our souls than just our heads or from our genitals. It is about uniting our longing for wholeness and connection, yearnings that are naturally sacred and spiritual. It is about pleasuring and being pleasured in whatever consensual form that takes.
Evolution, in the normal sense is slow and laborious. But the evolution being spoken of here is not slow, neither is it laborious. Instead, it is rapid and straight forward. The crooked, crablike process of evolution, normally taking eons, is accelerated. The road ahead is made straight, the destination more easily and quickly attainable.
The split between spirituality and sexuality is a deep psychic schism within almost everyone in our culture which prohibits enduring, loving relationships to form, which at the same time can remain sexually alive and growing. The rift is caused by generational, cultural, religious, and early programming that plants seeds deep in the unconscious which makes merging the two virtually impossible without specific healing. We need to reintegrate God and the cosmos with our sexuality.
Imagine yourself and your partner, with open hearts, choosing to pleasure each other. Imagine breathing and letting go into the bliss, whatever it may be, and knowing that you are going to God or the highest energy powers. Your partner is joining and supporting you in this awareness and experience. Then you switch; pleasure your partner in whatever ways are desired and appropriate for the two of you. If you really give yourself such a delightful experience, you will experience ecstatic sex, erotic energy, and you will have a rich spiritual experience that is enlightening as well. Every time more veils are dropped between partners, more consciousness opens to them. It will reveal itself in the daily living of life and in creative expression. This is what sex and pleasuring looks like when you are healing the sexual-spiritual split.
Combining love with sexual expression can be an act of higher consciousness. In workshops, we help foster a genuine belief that when two human beings combine love’s energy with erotic energies, a transcendent experience occurs, one that is often profoundly healing. This is a very sacred sharing and the true goal of a fulfilling sexual experience. Reaching this goal is the result of a give and take, a negotiation of the openhearted experience of interconnectedness.
Under our needs, desires, and fantasies are powerful and subtle feelings and energies that want to be expressed. These expressions help us grow holistically; they teach us about aggression and passivity, about our feminine and masculine energies, and about pleasuring and being pleasured. They help us dissolve shame toward our inner contradictions and complexities and experience them fully for healing, growth, and self-understanding.
True and spiritual lovemaking is the interweaving choreography of our higher and shadow selves. It is a holistic fusing together of aspects of the so-called higher and lower self – how beautiful and so very intimate to do so with open hearts.
Here you have some interesting thoughts of Deepak Chopra:
Recently I have started to write a contemporary version of the Kama Sutra. An ancient text that sees pleasure (kama) as one of the four goals of life. The other three being: Dharma which is harmony with the universe; Arth (material abundance) and Moksha (enlightenment). Before I started the book I thought I would put down any insights I personally had with relationship with sex and spirituality which I would like to share with you:
1. Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. All things that are alive come from sexual energy. In animals and other life forms, sexual energy expresses itself as biological creativity. In humans, sexual energy can be creative at all levels – physical, emotional and spiritual. In any situation, where we feel attraction, arousal, awakening, alertness, passion, interest, inspiration, excitement, creativity, enthusiasm, in each of these situations, sexual energy is at work. When ever we feel these states of awareness, we must put our attention on the energy that we are experiencing, nourishing it with our attention, experiencing it with joy and keeping it alive in our awareness.
2. Sexual desire is sacred and chaste. The suppression of sexual energy is false, ugly and unchaste.
3. During sexual union, there is union between flesh and spirit.
4. Bliss, carefreeness and playfulness are the essence of sex.
5. To improve your sexual experiences, get rid of your expectations.
Expectations are primarily in three areas:
1) Performance, exemplified in the question, “How am I doing?”
2) Feeling, exemplified in the question, “How am I feeling?”
3) Security, exemplified in the question, “Do you love me?”
6. In sex, as in all areas of life, resistance is born of fear. All resistance is mental. It implies judgment against what is being felt. Sex becomes a problem when it gets mixed with hidden emotions such as shame, guilt and anger.
7. Sexual intimacy is the road to the taste or experience of true freedom, because it is the one area of life in which we can become completely uninhibited and free.
8. Sexual fulfillment occurs when the experience comes from playfulness instead of need. Frequently people bring their conflicts and needs into the sexual experience. When sex is used to fulfill needs, it leads to addiction. When sex comes from playfulness, the result is ecstasy.
9. All problems related to sex, neurosis, deviancy, sexual misbehavior, violence, abuse, can be traced to resistance, to suppression and repression, not to the sexual urges themselves. If we are allowed to discover our urges, desires and emotions, without outside inhibition, they won’t go to extremes. Extremism, in any form, is a reaction to repression, inhibition and suppression. Aggression and violence are the shadow energies of fear and impotence.
10. Sex is a means of escaping our little self or ego. It is many peoples’ only experience of meditation.
11. Meaningful sex has to be value based. Values are personal. Each situation that has sexual energy in it, involves the whole human being and their entire value system. My values may be different from yours, and I have no right to be the moral judge of anyone’s values. It is important, however, to have core values, and respect them. Without values, we become spiritually bankrupt. Sexual experience will never cause problems and will always be joyful, if lovers share the same values.
12. True intimacy is union between flesh and flesh, between subtle body and subtle body, between soul and soul. Sexual energy is sacred energy. When we have restored the sexual experience to the realm of the sacred, our world will be chaste and divine, holy and healed.
The British author Aldous Huxley wrote, “The aim and purpose of life is the unitive knowledge of God.” This speaks directly to the spiritual dilemma of our time; how to unite the polarities of our dissociative culture. Ever since Descartes said, “I think therefore I am,” we have been separating the body, mind, and spirit. I’m convinced that the key to the disconnecting dilemma we face is to re-unite the body, mind, and spirit. And a primary obstacle most people face is uniting the spiritual with the sexual.